21 hilarious ways to describe your sexlife with a movie title!!!

For many fellows, discussing their sex lives can be a very awkward experience. It may be easier to use some kind of code to convey your sexual issues and that’s why we have come up with 21 ways to describe your sexlife with a movie title!!!

Describe Your Sex Life With a Movie Title

So make yourself comfy and see if one of these movie titles sums up your experiences between the sheets…..

Troll Hunter

Let’s be honest, we all have a buddy that has gained a reputation for bedding ladies that are “FUGLY”!!!

Men are much more concerned with casual sex than the beauty of the women they are having it with!

Research shows that women raise their standards of attractiveness for a casual sex partner but men certainly do not!

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Gone in 60 Seconds

According to the stats, men and women orgasm at very different times.

Most men orgasm after five to seven minutes on average. For women, it usually takes fifteen to twenty minutes, and sometimes longer!

Women’s bodies take longer to feel aroused, feel sexual pleasure, and subsequently orgasm. A thoughtful guy will control and hold his orgasm until his lady is satisfied.

With a little concentration, most men can control their climax but many are just too selfish and aren’t concerned about whether their sex-partner is satisfied or not!

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Get Hard

As it happens, there are a multitude of reasons that can stop guys getting a firm & dependable “woody”!!!

Did you know that between 20 and 30 million men in America regularly encounter erection problems and nearly all men have suffered from the dreaded “limp noodle” at some time in their lives?

And erectile issues aren’t just reserved for the elderly. According to the stats, 25% of men seeking treatment for their flaccid penis are under 40 years of age!!!

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Hit & Run

It’s not just a myth that many dudes tend to pull away after they have “got their oats”, but why?

When men have sex, their level of oxytocin increases and this causes testosterone levels to drop. When this happens, men often feel a great need to pull away and can lose all interest for a little while. As testosterone levels rise again, interest and libido returns.

Wiser and more mature men tend to stick around a little longer because it’s the decent thing to do. They know that it’s better to just roll over instead of running away.

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Sausage Party

The term “sausage party” seems to have been around since the late 1990s.

The first record that we can find is in a 1999 Bureau of National Affairs Fair Employment complaint made by an employee after receiving homophobic statements claiming that he was a fan of “sausage parties.”

sausage party definition

Source: Urban Dictionary: Sausage Party

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

If you can describe your sex life with this movie title, you’re not on your own!!!

While we might tell our buddies that we only bed the crème de la crème of ladies, this is probably far from the truth!

While most of us have had a few stunners in-between the sheets, there are probably a few sexual partners that we would rather forget. This could well include “bunny boilers”, “fat chicks”, and girls that looked great in the dim light of a nightclub that seemed like a good idea at the time.

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Any Given Sunday

WOW!!!…… According to scientists, the secret to keeping sexual attraction and romance alive and well in a marriage is to indulge in carnal activities just once a week!

If you make love more often than this, it does not necessarily lead to greater contentment and happiness, although getting less can definitely make many “horny” guys feel more miserable.

The stats that you may be interested in (according to Kinsey) are that 18-29-year-olds have sex an average of 112 times per year, 30-39-year-olds have an average of 86 times per year, and 40-49-year-olds manage an average of 69 times.

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Adventures in Babysitting

Besides their young bodies, men think babysitters are hot for another reason: they have kids that aren’t their own.

Most men love the playful nature that babies bring out in women, but are not fans of the weight of maternal responsibility.

Famous babysitter scandals include Ethan Hawke leaving wife Uma Thurman for their nanny, Jude Law cheating on Sienna Miller with their babysitter, and probably most famously…Robin Williams marrying the babysitter that he and his first wife had employed.

If you are still in doubt that dudes love babysitters, just consider the movie “The Nanny Diaries”. This god-awful movie grossed more than $47 million at the box office which must mean that it wasn’t just women watching it!

Waterworld

There’s no way to really know how many men are turner on by golden showers (which is the case for any kind of kinky sex!

Certified sex therapist, Samantha Manewitz (LICSW, CST) said:

There are far more people who are interested in this sort of play than are willing to disclose it.

People like this fetish for a number of reasons but the main one is that watersports can increase trust and intimacy, there is vulnerability both in having a partner pee in your presence and allowing yourself to be peed on.

There is also something about exchanging bodily fluids in general that can be hot for some. The fact that it is ‘wrong’ and ‘dirty’ can be a turn on in and of itself.

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Rush Hour

A man was having premature ejaculation problems so he went to the doctor. from r/Jokes

Gifted Hands

Spanking the monkey, choking the chicken, yanking the plank, banging the bishop…whatever you call it, masturbation continues to be a very common pastime among us gentlemen.

Interesting masturbatory facts from the USA include:

  • The number of masturbatory aged people in the US is 240,052,886
  • Average jerk-time is 12 minutes
  • 62.5 percent of men masturbate daily (153,053,044 men)
  • And 797,151 Americans are masturbating right now!

Sex, Lies, and Videotape

Filming sex between you and your partner can feel great, but Dr. Petra Boynton (the Telegraph’s sex and relationships writer) says that both partners must feel in control and the minute you both stop enjoying it, you should switch the camera off!

Read Franklin Veaux‘s answer to Why do people videotape their sexual activities even after knowing the risks involved in it? on Quora

The Fast & The Furious

The Journal of Sexual Medicine conducted a study of over 1500 men and their sex habits.

The research found that the reported average time between penetration and ejaculation was 7.3 minutes but for guys that suffered from P.E (premature ejaculation), the time was only 1.8 minutes!!!

One more study of 500 couples from five different countries measured the time it took from penetration to “shooting of the load” and times ranged from 33 seconds to 44 minutes with the median being a surprisingly low 5.4 minutes!

Every Which Way But Loose

Back in Flintstone times, if a woman got pregnant, she would lose nine months of her life and be vulnerable during this time (and while the baby was growing up) so she really needed a man that could protect her.

Back then, women had fewer chances to meet the perfect guy so they had to be more selective unlike men that have almost infinite cartridges, and are often far from selective!

Obviously, having sex nowadays doesn’t mean that a baby will result but the behavior is still present in the subconscious of women. You never know, maybe in years to come, women will adopt the same reproductive strategy as men!

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A Fistful of Dollars or For a Few Dollars More

According to a very interesting report by professor Sven-Axel Månsson of Malmö University in 2005, an estimated 16% of men that live in the U.S, regularly pay for sex.

Early studies found 69% (Kinsey et al., 1948) to 80% (Benjamin and Masters, 1964) of American men had engaged in commercial sex at some point, but more recent studies have found the number to be much lower at around 15% to 20%.

If this movie title describes your sexlife, just make sure you “rubber-up” before taking the plunge!

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Toy Story

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Most guys say that they use vibrators with their partners during foreplay and/or intercourse. In fact, although almost half of the men in the U.S. survey mentioned above reported having used a vibrator before, only 16.6% said that they had used one alone during masturbation.

In light of this finding, it is perhaps not surprising that when men were asked why they first began incorporating vibrators into their sex lives, some of the most common reasons included wanting to please one’s partner, to help one’s partner have an orgasm, or to “spice up” one’s sex life.

Far fewer guys reported using vibrators to help themselves have an orgasm, although that’s certainly a reason that some guys use these sex toys.

Sex & Psychology by Dr. Justin Lehmiller

Where the Wild Things Are

Blow

blowjob!! from r/Jokes

Home Alone

Some men don’t want sexual relationships with women but that doesn’t mean that they are not fans of sex. They just prefer the DIY method and would rather take care of business by themselves in the comfort of their favorite armchair.

Whether they have had bad relationships in the past, can’t connect with girls, had sex with others and it was disappointing,…..whatever the reason, many guys just love having sex by themselves and there’s nothing wrong with it!

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A Series of Unfortunate Events

But things went wrong when Harvey flipped his coin to find out if he needed a sex change. from r/disneyvacation

Are We There Yet?

Most men think that every woman can reach orgasm from penetration alone but research has shown that only 20-25 percent of women can. This figure could be even lower, as we can’t count-out the accidental clitoral stimulation that invariably occurs during love-making.

So if your “better-half” is in the other 75-80 percent of women, you’re going to need to become best friends with her clitoris to really “get her motor running!”


Here are the links for more info about our featured movies

Troll Hunter (2010) – Director: André Øvredal

Gone in Sixty Seconds (2000) – Director: Dominic Sena

Get Hard – Director: Etan Cohen

Hit & Run (2012) – Directors: David PalmerDax Shepard

Sausage Party (2016) – Directors: Greg TiernanConrad Vernon

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (1966) – Director: Sergio Leone

Any Given Sunday (1999) – Director: Oliver Stone

Adventures in Babysitting (1987) – Director: Chris Columbus

Waterworld (1995) – Director: Kevin Reynolds

Rush Hour (1998) – Director: Brett Ratner

Gifted Hands: The Ben Carson Story (2009) – Director: Thomas Carter

Sex, Lies, and Videotape (1989) – Director: Steven Soderbergh

The Fast and the Furious (2001) – Directors: Rob CohenMel City (co-director)

Every Which Way But Loose (1978) – Director: James Fargo

Fistful of Dollars (1964) – Director: Sergio Leone (as Bob Robertson)

For a Few Dollars More (1965) – Director: Sergio Leone

Toy Story (1995) -Director: John Lasseter

Where the Wild Things Are (2009) – Director: Spike Jonze

Blow (2001) – Director: Ted Demme

Home Alone (1990) – Director: Chris Columbus

A Series of Unfortunate Events – TV series with a few directors

Are We There Yet? (2005) – Director: Brian Levant


A big thanks to BagoGames for the fabulous featured image Sausage Party Review on flickr shared under a Creative Commons (BY) license


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